How to write about the signs without sounding like a total nutcase? I admit I have given one of these objects enough weight that it can shift the energy of a moment. It has the power to make me stop and feel something. Ache. Fondness. A chill. Do I conjure it? Do I summon it into view? Do I give it meaning or is the meaning already there?
I am always looking for this one particular sign, even when I try not to. It’s almost subconscious. Even when I assume not seeing it is better than seeing it. Even when I acknowledge that it can’t be real, that it’s just coincidence. Even when months go by without seeing one.
Could I make it mean something? Am I that powerful? Did a thought of me just cross his mind? Or is the sign a warning? Maintain your focus, stay the course, because he’s not thinking about it. And neither should you. Stop this childish impulse and get on with it.
But in this one area, I want to be like a child. I want to believe that an angel gets its wings every time a bell rings. It’s not real. Then again, what if it is?
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